>Animal Welfare Phonies

> When dogs want to find out something about somebody, we just smell their butt. It’s fast, it’s accurate and it’s easy. I can tell right away if a dog is weird, crazy and whether or not I should stay away from him. Humans have all these complicated ways of finding out stuff about other humans that take forever–stuff that we dogs could figure out by smell in two...
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>Jinky, Dog of a Hollywood Wife, is Actually Bobby Fischer’s Furry Child

>The mystery of my brain is finally revealed by the New York Times. I’m really worried that my dad is not my dad. The New York Times, see below, is saying that my real dad was Bobby Fischer, the famous chess champion. If the New York Times is correct, and they usually are pretty good about fact checking, then my dad, Kevin Rooney, the comedy writer, is not my real dad. I know I was dumped...
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>Texas Invents New and Improved Animal Rights Movement

>My mom wrote a satire about the animal rights movement and some people think it’s real. I’m just a dog but even I know the difference between satire and a serious article. These people have cat litter for brains. One crazy lady is comparing my mom to Jim Jones ( a really mean guy who killed a bunch of people by forcing them to drink poisoned Koolaid), calling her a bully and that...
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>Shooting of Animal Rights Protesters at Aquarium & Pet Center in Santa Monica

> Jinky here: Pet stores stink worse than a truck load of kitty litter. And they’re mean. They keep puppy mill dogs locked up in tiny little glass boxes and sell them to weirdos who don’t know to go to the pound to adopt! My mom was shot at in front of a pet store! I wasn’t there to bite the store owner and when I find out who is the really bad human who shot at my mom and her...
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