>They made me watch the Oscars

> That was the worst Oscars show of my entire life. But every year, it’s stupid. A bunch of idiots get all dressed up at noon and sit in traffic so they can go sit on their asses for ten thousand hours next to other idiots who are more famous than they are. Then, they all gas a lot about how great all the crumby movies are and give themselves statues and cry for the cameras. I think they do...
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>Manhood and Criminals

>Mom is pissed about this picture of her, which is on every video shelf in America this week. She dragged us out in flash flood warning conditions to go to the video store, where we watched a bunch of losers hanging around Blockbuster fingering the boxes with her picture on it. They read the box and then put it back on the shelf, like they didn’t want to see the movie. Mom and Dad were...
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>This cat likes to plant litter in the bed when we’re not...
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>Going out Wide and Cunt Rocks

>Last night we had people over again. Ach… I had some food from the table, but not enough. Whenever there are people here, we get less food, which makes no sense because there is so much more food on the table. It’s like Mom and Dad are embarrassed to let me get up on the table in front of their Hollywood friends. When it’s just us at the table, I hang out and eat right out of...
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>Cancer, Starbucks and More Rain

>There are mudslides going on all around us and it keeps on raining. Big rocks are all over the roads and the ceiling is leaking. Dad’s TV show is off for a week and might get canceled because it’s on at the same time as American Idol so Dad has been hanging around the house all day in a dirty bathrobe. He gets dressed to go down the hill to Starbucks and to get the New York Times but...
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